Thursday, February 25, 2010

Week 32 Update

The past seven days have passed by in much of a non event as the previous seven. Both Darren and I are putting the finishing touches on Noddy's room. We have bought a much smaller light for the room as our current chandelier is now too low and we keep hitting our heads on it every time we enter the room. We bought a five arm light fixture from a local 2nd hand store that we plan of painting white and adding some white shades. Currently it's brass and has bad 80s glass shades...urgh. A little bit of DIY should do the trick and at only $45 it's a bargain. When complete I will post a photo. We have also finished painting the timber trim above our panelling and now just three pieces left to be painted (wait, four) and then...voila! Darren has had two beautiful oak pieces of furniture since he was around 19 years old that we are going to paint white, a bookcase from our dear friend Bron, who recently moved to the USA will also get the same treatment and then a rocking chair currently federation green will also get a lick of paint or two or three as I think it may need. The weekend ahead will be a busy one!

For some unknown reason I have been feeling anxious when thinking about Noddy the past few days. Most likely because our surrogate's WBC count has been a little elevated. Drs Yash and Sudhir were on the ball and quickly placed our surrogate on a five day course of antibiotics just as a precaution. This along with reading other IPs threads on the SI forum has helped me to relax slightly but I can't quite put my finger on the reason for this unwanted anxiety.

There has been some sad news this week in the surrogacy community we find oursleves a part of. Couples who have had negative results and others coming to their second trimester miscarrying. It is terribly devastating and I can not begin to imagine their anguish. This also reminded me of a client recently who came into my work place to book flights to the UK.

Their daughter was pregnant and all was well. Baby was growing as it should be and 'normal'. The soon to be grandparents were elated.

Then, all of a sudden their baby didn't continue growing. It's heart simply stopped. By this stage, the expectant mother was 35 weeks pregnant and just thinking of what awful sadness she, her partner and their families must have gone through gives me goosebumps and saddens me beyond expression. WHY, WHY, WHY?

How on earth does one cope with such sadness and loss? I am shaking my head as I type these words.

I suppose I am anxious as any new parent would be. Both Darren, myself and our families are so looking forward to this new arrival. A new life. Noddy is already so loved and cherished the fear that this wonder could be taken from us scares the hell out of me. I pray this is not our fate.

Onto a lighter and happier note, we do know that Noddy IS growing well and IS healthy and we have NO reason to be fearful or anxious. We ARE in the best of hands and our surrogate IS going to deliver a beautiful, healthy baby boy or girl very soon. I was so happy to wake up this morning and find more 3D scans from two days ago, the 23rd February. The scans show Noddy's approximate gestational age at 31weeks and 5days.

Fetal size: crown-rump 29cm (11.6 inches), crown-toes 42cm (18.9 inches). Fetal weight 1.7kg (4 pounds). This week your baby has continued to grow and his/her lungs and digestive system have also continued to mature. Your baby's senses are functioning and by week 32 the mind may have even started to function. Your baby still needs more time in the womb to continue maturation, and the build up of fat stores.


  1. It's been one of those weeks I'm afraid. Most people I've spoken to have felt some kind of anxiety. It happens sometimes. I notice it as a teacher a lot. On the odd day, all of my girls will be a little bit off, like a mob of horses in bad weather. it doesn't take much to set them off.

    hopefully next week will be better.

    You're getting so much closer now boys!


  2. I agree with Jo. We all feel these negatives and losses keenly and put ourselves in our surrogacy community friends' shoes and actually experience the grief with them. very anxiety producing.

    Noddy IS going to be delivered, a beautiful healthy - and by the look of those scans - chubby - little bubba.

  3. Asking "why” can lead to a cruel cycle of unanswered questions, one more perplexing than the next. Why did this happen to them? What did they do to deserve this? Why are they suffering?

    It is the hardest question one can ask, because there is no answer. Or at least there is no answer that can adequately ease the heartache.

    All you can do is be aware of the good in the universe, appreciate what you have in your life, focus on what is right in the world and help others by sharing a positive outlook.

  4. The scans look amazing and I love having you guys as the poster child of the perfect pregnancy. I truly believe and am looking forward to seeing pictures of a perfect boy or girl. I also can't wait to find out what name you choose.

  5. Take some deep breaths, guys.... you're going to need all the calm you can muster! I'm afraid to say that the anxiety doesn't entirely go away until your airplane touches down back home with Noddy in your arms. But that day WILL happen, and then the real fun starts!

  6. I agree with Steph, but in reality the anxiety never goes away - so welcome to being a parent! All you do is swap one lot of anxiety for the next. We got the boys born and within one day I was concerned that the IVF lab here or in India mixed up the embryos and the boys weren't ours. That compulsory DNA test by the Aust Govt certainly resolved that issue for me. So breath, enjoy and take it as easy as you can as you're about to have 50 years of stress. I know you're both going to LOVE that!!!