Tuesday, September 21, 2010

Noah's Five Month Update

Five months, actually more than five months have now passed. Our son is five months and two weeks old tomorrow, the 22nd September. Each day with Noah brings new joy to our lives. Joy as any parent will tell you unlike any other. Most days I find myself walking into Noah's room to simply stare at him. I stand at the side of his cot quietly watching his chest move up and down as it fills with oxygen and then as he exhales how his little face, cheeks, and nose move. His face twitches & squirms usually as a result of me rubbing my nose against his cheek or stealing one more kiss for the day. I have discovered that there is never enough kisses shared in any one day. I find myself holding his tiny hands, thanking God we have a healthy, happy baby boy. There is so much that is wrong and sad in this world today but for that moment when I am standing next to Noah, nothing else matters. It is bliss.

We have seen the arrival of Spring this month and for the first time, Darren and I are welcoming her with open arms. We both adore the cold weather, Winter especially. The colder the better. This year has been the exception. We have had a cold Winter and what seems to have been a very long Winter. This coupled with the fact that Noah has been sick, meant that we were eagerly awaiting warmer weather. As mentioned in earlier posts, Noah had croup not long after we returned from India and Winter set in. It was simply awful and the cough was only one aspect of the illness. The past five to six weeks has seen us visit our local GP three times due to a consistent cough, awful wheeze and the most yuckiest of runny noses and subsequent mucus, apologies! This infection did not want to leave and we were both so worried, feeling there was nothing we could do.

Noah has been wheezy off and on since his immunisations at four months of age but the cough came a little later, then followed by the yucky nose. It was so terrible and there was just nothing we could do to offer relief to him other than a steam vaporizer in his bedroom and lots and lots of love. On our second visit to our GP Noah was diagnosed with bronchiolitis. This now seems to have passed and our boy is 99% back to his normal self. It is so good to wake up in the morning and have a child free from coughing, sneezing and being terribly congested. For this and other reasons, Spring we welcome thee! This month Noah enjoyed his first ferry ride on Sydney Harbour. Typically every August we celebrate the birthdays of Darren, his brother Brett and sister Tracie with a family get together. This year we were a little late and made it in September. We agreed to meet at the Ivanhoe Pub in Manly for a family lunch and we were joined by our nieces Hollie, Hannah & Brooke and nephew Chad. Aunty Rob and Uncle Charlie from the NSW north coast also joined us. The weather on the day was drab and grey, yet we still had a wonderful time & our boy was so happy and well behaved the entire day. There was so much excitement and people to meet that sleeping and any resemblance of a routine went out the window for the day. This did not matter though and Nono was still his happy self and not one bit grumpy! This month has also seen a wonderful milestone for Noah and his daddies; solid food. We decided at just after five months of age, having shown growing interest in our meals and drinks that we would start Noah on some solid food. So, we readied the video and still cameras, set the high chair up in the lounge room and defrosted some home made organic pumpkin puree made by Papa. And, it was a smashing success. 50grams of pumpkin goodness was eagerly eaten and then a bottle of formula to boot. Needless to say we had a wonderful first experience of solid food and Noah has been enjoying a wide range of home made deliciousness these past two weeks. Those infant taste buds have been enjoying a wide selection of gourmet fare including; organic pumpkin puree, organic apple puree, pumpkin and corn puree and organic sweet potato puree. I just love spending time in the kitchen at the best of times and especially love knowing that I am cooking home made, prepared meals for our little man. I can't wait to try some new flavours and textures and see just what he likes the most. At the moment it seems to be the sweet potato. Both daddy and papa are adventurous with their food & we're sure that Noah will be just the same. I also have to share something that keeps happening more and more often over the past couple of weeks and I wonder if this is a trend with other new parents? Our wonderful surrogate is always in our hearts and the front of our minds. We often chat about her, her children and extended family and hope they are well. We hope she is happy with the choice she made to have a child for us & wonder if she would do the same again? The more we spend time with parents of multi-child families the more we think of a sibling for Noah. For us however it's not as easy and straight forward as it is for others out there. We're not wired to reproduce and the plumbing is all wrong to boot. Do parents of children conceived the ole' fashioned way think of siblings so soon? Is this normal? Are we selfish? Are we crazy?!? Shouldn't one healthy child be enough for any family? Having a child is such an emotional and life changing experience that neither of us were prepared for. Yes we anticipated just what life would be like when Noah came into our world. Yes we anticipated that life would be amazing, stupendous, tiring and all the more richer having him here with us and it is. However, we were not prepared for how we would feel once we knew he is an only child. There are plenty of single children in the world and there does not seem to be any detriment to their development, life skills, happiness or how they feel about their life. So why question this, are we being selfish I ask again? Why does a sibling keep coming into my mind and then out of it again? Our pregnancy with Noah was text book perfect. Not a single hitch. Are we tempting fate by thinking of trying for a brother or sister for Noah?

The chances of a positive pregnancy are lessened with a frozen embryo transfer or 'FET'. Then there is the nine months. In fact more than the nine months; the two week wait, waiting for beta numbers, waiting for the all important heart beat, first trimester, second trimester, third trimester and normal birth. Nothing is certain until your healthy child is born and even then...Both Darren and I felt such a connection with our surrogate that I don't know if it would feel right trying again with another woman. Is this selfish? Is this normal? Again, what is normal? My mind is awash with the thought of possibilities and what could be's. There is also the reality that commercial surrogacy is not as simple as simply saying yes, let's do this. One has to be financially able to cope with the unknown. What if there are complications during your surrogate's pregnancy etc. And then having a child is but one aspect of life's story. There is so much we as a family have yet to experience together. We want to provide the best possible life for Noah. Will a second child bring more financial stain that we can deal with? I suppose it is a feeling of melancholy that has me asking these questions of myself. We have had a month away from blogger and the online surrogacy world. Checking in on new intended parents, their stories and blogs again has re-kindled the feelings of anticipation, hope, joy and love of knowing that there is a new life about to be born and that life is that of your child.