Post Detox Post, Shopping, Baby Belly & Weeks 21 & 22 Updates

The self imposed internet detox from last week has worked wonders for my complexion! No more square eyes and my skin is just glowing, really it is.

I managed to last nine days without baby blogging, baby forums, Dr Google and everything else baby that had driven me to distraction leading to the 5th December. I still was using my emails since I have to for work and being online was still mandatory but without visiting baby websites in their hundreds, my mind had time for rest and relaxation. Many IPs going through the same process as us will agree that it is very, very overwhelming and even though I know it may be 1:00am in Mumbai, this doesn't stop me checking for updates from the docs at Surrogacy India 20+ times a day...seriously!

The week that was. I have spent so much time with my mum the past few weeks. Each weekend we are out together finishing Christmas shopping, visiting family friends or buying for Noddy. Mum is buying and Darren and I are resisting temptation. Last weekend we spent all day Saturday...all day from 8:30am til 6:45pm Christmas shopping, visiting friends and travelling half way across Sydney trying to find a baby bouncer I remembered from my childhood. My Mum is gorgeous and we always have fun together when we're out. When we finally found it, Mum bought it for us as 'another gift from Grandma'. I think it's great and it will work really well in Noddy's room once we get the ball rolling.

This past week has also seen more updates from Drs Sudhir and Yash about the progress of our pregnancy and our wonderful surrogate who looks beautifully pregnant. Trying to explain how I feel about leading up to B-Day is somewhat difficult to express. There are days that time seems to almost stand still. As though I am looking in on a life that can not possible be my own. A loving family and friends, a beautiful home and job I love. My amazing partner who has been a part of my life for 12 and a half years now (where has the time gone)?

Are we really going to be daddies? I thought this was not an option for an openly gay man? I get goosebumps just thinking of this...

And then, there are the days that B-Day seems to be approaching like a train out of control. 120 something days until our Noddy(ette) joins Darren and I and our lives will be forever changed. There is still so much to be done but I am not going to let this get the better of me. We will do what we can do and not stress about what isn't completed before we travel to India. I am going to enjoy the last 120 something days of our life together as a couple and look forward to the rest of our lives as a family. It's really happening!

This week our surrogate is going to be 23 weeks pregnant. Our latest scan results from Dr Sudhir & Yash are excellent....A+

Placenta maturity is Grade O

Head Circumference 18.5CM

Femur Length 3.5CM

Abdominal Circumference 16.5CM

Estimated Fetal Weight 420GRAMS

And our estimated due date has been brought forward to 18 April 2010. Gosh, can you believe how fast this is progressing. We are so eternally grateful to God for His gift to us and the blessings bestowed to us. Dr Sudhir and Dr Yash both know how much we care for them and the fantastic job they have done is making our parenthood dream a reality. They really are two of the most amazing people we have ever met.

WEEK 21

Fetal size 18cm (7.2 inches). Fetal weight 300grams (10.5 ounces).

Your baby has been growing rapidly, but over the last week and during this week, growth slows down and your baby continues to develop and mature in other ways while continuing to gain weight. At 21 weeks your baby can swallow amniotic fluid. Your baby absorbs the water from the fluid, while any other matter is pushed through the bowel by the muscle movements of the small intestine. The first bowel movement your baby passes will contain the undigested matter from the amniotic fluid. This green-black matter (called meconium) will be passed during or soon after birth.

WEEK 22

Fetal size 19cm (7.6 inches). Fetal weight 350grams (12.25 ounces).

Your baby is getting bigger as each day passes. Eyelids and eyebrows and fingernails are developed. Organs are developing to perform their particular functions. Your baby starts to build an immune system to act as a natural defense against infection. In addition he/she will begin to produce and store fatty tissue to produce body heat and keep warm. This fatty layer (called brown fat) starts to build up on different parts of the body and continues to do so until your baby is born. The skin is growing and is protected from the amniotic fluid by a waxy layer (called vernix). Until your baby develops more fat under the skin, it will remain red and wrinkly. The body is still covered by a fine layer of hair. Baby teeth have been formed and are waiting in the gums. Your baby can now taste and can tell the difference between sweet and bitter.

Your baby starts to move more, becoming more coordinated as muscles develop and strength increases. He/she can now turn and stretch. These movements will build muscle, strengthen bones and improve motor skills.

Time Again For Detox

Internet detox that is. It has been seven months to the day (5 May) since I last had my self imposed internet detox and another is long overdue!

I'm sure many of you will agree with me when I say this is the hardest thing we have gone through in our lives to date. Searching for a clinic to help us become parents, searching for a suitable egg donor and then a suitable surrogate. Then, surrogate numbers one and two are no longer available. Thank you surrogate number three! Our angel and wonder woman who is making our dreams come true.

Then to further add to the mayhem in my head, there's international air travel, hotels, visas, vaccinations, DNA tests, citizenship applications, passport applications, pregnancy updates including ultrasound results and films, blood, urine and other tests to boot! I believe that the stress I feel is compounded by the fact I am on a computer five days a week for around 50+ hours. Then there is the time online at home; I'm sending myself CRAZY!

I have to detox. I am making the most trivial, tiny news from India a MEGA MOUNTAIN from a tiny mole hill. There is no reason for me to doubt that our pregnancy is going normally and nothing is wrong. Noddy is perfectly safe and well as is our surrogate and they are both being taken cared for by the wonderful team at Surrogacy India.

So, here it is. No blogs, forums, emails, websites, parent chat rooms, you tube or anything baby related for seven days from today. It begins......now.

Five Months Pregnant!

Darren and I have just finished chatting with our wonderful surrogate on SKYPE and she looks AMAZING!

I know we're biased when I say our surrogate is the best in the world. But hey, she is! Her skin is glowing, her smile and laughter are infectious and she is so warm and wonderful toward us I only wish we were closer to India than a 13+ hour flight.

Today we hit the 20 week mark in our pregnancy. 20 WEEKS! We have successfully reached the half way point. There are no words to express how we feel. I (Johnny) have been having more and more recurring dreams about Noddy (Nodette)? and each one is more real than the next. God has a wonderful plan in store for Darren and I, even if it involves some sleepless nights.

Darren here: Yes I awake most mornings to a story of bizarre baby happenings in Johnnies imagination that are fantastic & sometime a little weird.

Tonight Sarika met my mum & it was just a wonderful moment that makes it that little bit more real for her who, up until this point has only really heard that about our conversations with Sarika & all of the wonderful people we have meet along the way to babydom.

Today is the half way point in our journey to become daddies: it feels amazing and scary. Heck we need to get it together. There is so much to do in the next 4 months before we bring Noddy home.

WEEK 20

Fetal size 14-16cm, (5.6-6.4 inches). Fetal weight 315g
(9 ounces).

Your baby's skin has now formed two layers. The epidermis (outer layer) and the dermis (deep skin tissue). From 20 weeks, your baby's skin starts to secrete vernix (a white pasty substance) that protects your baby's skin from the amniotic fluid. The vernix will be present on your baby's skin at birth.

Week 19 Update & Latest Ultrasound Results

Can you believe that we are now days from reaching the half way point of our pregnancy! One of the major mental milestones to be passed one would say.

We are so blessed to have by our side, our family, friends and a great community of online supporters following our journey. We sincerely thank you all for your kindness and kind words.

Our surrogate is doing very well from our last conversation with Dr Sudhir and we are very excited for the next day she will be back at SI's clinic so we can SKYPE with her again. I (Johnny) am still amazed that this is really happening to us. I am still scared to give myself over completely to the idea that I am going to be a parent in less than 6 months time. Our wonderful surrogate is being so well taken care of and is in the best of health, this pregnancy has thus fare been uneventful; which is just what we want.

I posted a while back that just because we want to be daddies does not mean it will happen. I won't be completely satisfied (and relieved) until Noddy is in our arms. I am so very fearful of this wonderful gift being snatched from Darren and I before we even realise it.

I am sure these emotions are normal though, right?

Our most recent ultrasound results from India are very impressive with all kinds of information for the medico lamen to ponder - yay for Dr Google.

A quick overview reads: A single live fetus is seen in unstable lie. Liqor volume is adequate. Placenta is situated at the fundus and extends along the anterior wall. It shows grade I maturity. No praevia is seen. Cervical Os and canal are closed. Cervix measures 3.3cm. Normal fetal cardiac activity and fetal biophysical profile is seen. No obvious anatomical anomalies are seen.

All in all a good report card wouldn't you agree? Our revised due date is now the 19th April 2010.

WEEK 19

Fetal size 13-15cm (5.2-6 inches). Fetal weight 200g (7 ounces). This week your baby continues to develop and grow.

Remembering Mumbai, 26 November 2008

On the 26th November 2008, we all woke to the news of horrific terrorist attacks in Mumbai. Our time spent in India in July of this year gave us the opportunity to meet some people that this day a year ago tomorrow had a direct impact on. Staff at our hotel who were fortunate enough to avoid the gun fire at the Oberoi and Taj Mahal Hotels. We can not begin to imagine the fear they have experienced. We now also have a personal and life long connection to Mother India. This is where Noddy was conceived. Through the generosity of two wonderful Indian woman and Dr Sudhir and Yash from Surrogacy India. We remember 26-11-08 because of them. The world we live in in vastly more aware of global conflict that that of our grandparents and great grand parents. The changed world we now live in seems to be desperately clinging onto peace; at least, this is my opinion. The nightly news without fail always seems to have a terrible story on war, famine and terrorism. The world and the people living here are crying out for help.

Innocent people, caught in the middle of political, religious and territorial motivated hate crimes. This is after all what is happening; crimes against your fellow man are not only terribly hateful but hurtful. The hate has a flow on affect sometimes lasting generations.

I loathe conflict and war. Whenever I hear of the terrible things happening in our world today I'm saddened. I do not understand what it is like to be hungry. I do not understand what it is like not to have fresh, clean drinking water available to me. I do not understand what it is like to have lost family members to war and I do not understand what it is like to have my family home taken from me due to no wrong doing on my part. I am in many way a naive person and perhaps selfish? We live in the Western, developed world a very decadent life. I cringe now when I think of the thousands of dollars spent on trivial, fleeting things; food, possessions long gone and the list could go on.

I love to travel the world, meet new people and experience daily life in a country vastly different from my own. But, as a tourist travelling for leisure one wears rose coloured glasses to a certain degree. This was evident during our time in India. Darren and I were fortunate enough due to my line of work to stay in an amazing 5* hotel with all the bells and whistles one could ask for. As we have said in earlier posts though, there was extreme poverty no more than a stones throw from our hotel lobby!

After my GOOGLE search, I learned the following facts:

~ At least 80% of humanity live on less than $10 a day

~ According to UNICEF, 25,000 children die every day due to poverty. 25,000!

~ Nearly 1 billion people entered the 21st century unable to read or sign their own name

~ Less than 1% of what the world spent every year on weapons was needed to put every child

into school by the year 2000.

Both Darren and I know how blessed we are.

We live in a free country ~ free to be ourselves

~ free to practice our religion without fear of attack

~ free from hunger and thirst

~ free from war

~ free from homelessness and poverty

This is the changing world we are going to bring our child into. I hope and pray that our children can make a difference.

Week 18 Update & Baby Belly

WEEK 18

This week your baby measures approximately 12.5-14cm (5-5.6 inches) in length and weighs about 150 grams (5.25 ounces). Your baby is looking more and more human as time goes by. Your baby can now make facial expressions, including frowning and squinting. Eyes are still closed, but are sensitive to light outside the abdomen. Eyelashes and eyebrows have started to grow.

Limbs become longer and start to gain proportion and begin to move as the connections between the nerves and muscles are established. The nerves are now being coated in myelin (a fatty later), enabling them to pass messages to and from the brain. Your baby's hands can now form fists and if they meet, will clasp together. The lungs are developing , but until birth the placenta will provide your baby's oxygen.

LIFE Magazine Cover: April 30 1965

LIFE magazine's cover from 30 April 1965 showing an 18 week old fetus in utero, taken by Swedish photographer Linnart Nilsson, using an endoscopic camera with electronic flash.

How amazing to know that this is how our Noddy is looking like around this week. A real person, a human being with all his/her limbs and now able to respond to light and dark from the outside world!


This week we enter our 18th week gestation, or thereabouts. Each week we receive an email update from an online baby forum here in Australia with information on how Noddy should be developing and growing and it is great to have this information available to us. These weekly emails combined with updates from Dr Sudhir and Dr Yash and chatting with our surrogate on SKYPE help to make us feel closer to our pregnancy.

At this stage, from our latest ultrasound films from SI, Noddy is due to join us some time from the 15th to the 27th April 2010. Gosh, not long now until our dream of parenthood becomes reality!

There are so many couples undertaking this life changing journey of starting a family via surrogacy in India, the USA, Thailand and other countries it is easy to forget that for some, the process of becoming parents is very long and exhausting. Not everyone has a positive pregnancy. We are both so very blessed to have had success on our first attempt and count our blessings every single day. We receive continued support from couples world wide, some who have tried in vain time and time again with no success to become parents.

We are equally happy to hear that these people are not giving in to negative results and continue going back for their third, fourth and fifth attempt. As others have already said before us, the one guarantee that surrogacy offers us is options and hope. Hope that this time will be 'our time'.

The surrogacy community is small. Nastiness, lies and malice toward others is not called for and when you behave this way it shows nothing other than ones immaturity and inability to care for your fellow man. Darren and I both believe that we need to be there and support each other with kind words, prayers and messages of hope.

Is this not what we would want for our children? I know I would.