Where Is My Contented Baby?

Where oh where has my contented little baby gone? Someone please let me know if you find him.....PLEASE!

Since Noah's birth, Daddy and Papa have been following the contented baby routine by Gina Ford and it has worked a treat for us & Noah. That is, until around six weeks ago when we returned from Melbourne. The weather in Australia this year has been all over the place, unseasonably cold and then hot, cold again, snow today, heat wave tomorrow and since our fateful return flight from Melbourne to Sydney late October, our little man has been the discontented baby. Gina Ford help me! In an ideal world, at just over eight months old Noah's routine should read something similar to the following;

7am

Happily awake in his bed waiting for Daddy or Papa to come down & greet him for the morning. Sing a Disney'esque song whilst changing nappies handed to us by cute little blue birds. This is followed by a morning bottle and 1 weet bix mashed with a little banana. We usually play a little and read a book, then depending on where Noah is spending the day, either madly rush around getting ready for work or laze about in our PJs for a while.

9.00am

Morning sleep until 10.30am

10.30am

Awake from our morning sleep and again happily chatting to himself waiting for his parents.

11.00am

Morning Tea which now consists of 1/4 mango sliced, 3 lychees and a bit of banana

12noon

Lunch time bottle and solids (100gms) of what ever I have made the week prior and is in the freezer.

2.30pm

Afternoon sleep until 4.00pm

4.00pm

Awake again waiting for Daddy & Papa with some play time until 5pm when it's time for a bath. We have our dinner (100gms of solid food) around 5.30pm and a night time bottle between 6.15-6.30pm.

7.00pm

Blissfully and peacefully drift off to sleep without crying or distress whatsoever.


The above routine was our reality from three months of age until six months of age with the occasional and I mean very occasional wake here and there. Noah was sleeping through the night and was the picture perfect contented baby. I don't know what happened. From what I hear, what we are experiencing is normal and we simply have to grin and bear it. Below is an idea of 48 hours recently when we visited Great Grandma & Great Pop.

10DEC - 6pm to bed

11DEC - 3am-3.50am awake, screaming and nothing would pacify or soothe him
6am awake for breakfast bottle and solid food
8am-8.30am asleep in the car
10.45am lunch and bottle
11am-1.30pm afternoon sleep
5.30pm dinner and bottle
7.15pm put to bed and cried until 7.50pm eventually giving in to sleep

12DEC - 12.15am / 3.00am / 5.00am waking at different times through the night
6am breakfast bottle and solid food
8.50am-10.20am morning sleep
10.45am morning tea of banana, apple and cinnamon puree
12noon lunch and bottle
2.40pm-4pm afternoon sleep
5pm dinner and bottle
6.40pm-10.30pm asleep in the car on our way home
10.30pm-11.35pm cried and cried. Changed nappy and gave another bottle to
calm and sooth

13DEC - 5.45am awake

Noah is taking 200ml of formula four times a day and each solid feed is around 100-150gms depending on whether or not he is hungry.

It could be teeth, he quite distinctly has two teeth still coming through. Could it be his ears? A friend suggested we take him to the DR to check on his ears as maybe swimming or the pool has given him an ear infection. Turns out that the DR could not see either ear drum as they were blocked with wax - yuck! Papa has not wanted to over clean Noah's ears so they have been getting done once a month, this obviously has to be looked at. So, is it his ears causing discomfort and that is why every time we now lay him in his cot he turns into the devil child? My poor darling, I wish I spoke baby, tell me what is wrong!!! We have been dropping olive oil into his ears twice daily in the hope of softening the wax and we are headed back to the DR tomorrow for a follow up and if there is no improvement I am demanding they do something for him. So perhaps it is simply a combination of teething, sore ears & summer heat causing our angel to be so restless. One glimmer of hope though, he slept through again last night!

Meeting Great Grandparents

Noah, Papa & Aunty Becky had a wonderful weekend on the NSW South Coast where our paternal grand parents and Noah's great grandparents live. It has been so long since I last saw my grandmother and grandfather and this was going to be the first time Noah met them. Grandma and Pop's home is located high on a hill in an enviable location overlooking the Tasman Sea with truly breathtaking views. Growing up, this was our annual holiday location every Christmas. Long summer days spent with cousins playing cricket, badminton, billiards and spending what seemed like endless hours with our grand parents. My grandmother is a wonderful, wonderful cook and there is nothing she can not or would not make for her grandchildren and this is still the case. I finished work on Thursday and excitedly headed home to pack for our mini getaway. Daddy was working this weekend so Papa was going solo. It takes so, so long these days to pack for a weekend away.

I quickly remembered how full the car was on our last weekend away in Dubbo and trust me, this time was no exception. It took me an hour and a half to make sure I had everything needed and pack it into the car. Aunty Trella and Ninna were on hand to help feed Noah whilst Papa got everything ready, showered and headed out the door. Noah comfortably in his baby seat and Papa about to shut the door and.....vomit. Unclip seatbelt and take Noah back inside the house for a quick re change and wipe over, Papa a clean shirt free from baby vomit and we're back in the car and driving down our street headed 300km south to the picturesque seaside town of Dolphin Point. It's a long drive made even longer when you're travelling by yourself and the weather is thick with fog and misty rain. I relied on our car's GPS 'just to be safe' and what an event in itself this turned out to be. I comfortably drive for an hour and a half until I hit the pretty town of Bowral in the southern highlands. Bowral is famous for it's tulip festival in Spring and we often make a day trip travelling here enjoying lunch and a spot of shopping. As I left the town I was instructed by Lee (my GPS man) to take a left at an unfamiliar bridge, so I complied. It wasn't until 20 minutes or so later that I realised I had taken the scenic tourist route. I was literally in the middle of no where. The road barely wide enough for my single car was meant to be two lanes and the fog! I was so uncharacteristically panicky. I was on unfamiliar roads, with no passing traffic, homes, street lights and could not find my way back to the freeway. Turns out the scenic tourist route was bypassing the towns of Wollongong, Kiama, Berry and others travelling via Kangaroo Valley which is lovely and I would have liked it had it been the middle of the day and not raining, misty and wet. I literally did not have a passing car for over an hour. I ended up meeting the freeway again just before Nowra with only an hour until I arrived at my grandparents. I did eventually arrive at just after 11pm and the unpacking of the car began. Noah happily asleep in the back seat and Papa unpacking, unpacking, unpacking. I am instantly transported to my childhood on climbing the landing stairs and walking to the front door. The familiar smell of my childhood and that of my grandparent's home magically works wonders with my mind and I am in that happy place again. I am a child of 11 or 12 years with my sister, cousins and extended family surrounding me. The sound of laughter fills the air and my heart is warm and full of love as I let this feeling envelop me. This are the childhood memories I want Noah to have. We had a wonderful weekend and it was especially good seeing my grandfather who at 86 years old has been unwell for some time now. I don't like the thought of him not being around and it is a hard admission the thought of him not being with us much longer. Pop has become frail in his old age, losing a large amount of weight, not eating properly and finds it frustrating not being able to do the things around the home and garden he once done without issue। He also has dementia (thankfully no longer progressing due to medication), this has however affected his short term memory. He can easily recall the events from more than 30 years ago but something that happened last week, even earlier that day is much harder for him. My grandfather is also spending more and more time reminiscing about his years in the Pacific Islands during WWII and the friends he made and sadly lost. I know this plays on his mind from the stories he recalls to me and Grandma often tells me he often wakes from nightmares. I know that the absolute worst of what he experienced during the war he keeps to himself. Grandma, always her stoic self happily reminisces about 62 years of marriage and I can see that it is hard for her to see the husband she once knew change so drastically in front of her eyes. The time I spent with my grandmother growing up I am sure helped pave the way for my love of cooking. The time spent in her kitchen, combined with that of my mother are some of the happiest memories I have as a child. Nothing was ever too much or too outlandish for her to prepare. This is still the case. The next morning I quietly snuck into the pantry for a peek and yes, they were there. The cookies from my childhood that she had made in advance knowing we were visiting. Two containers full of coconut and walnut bikkies - - yum!!! I quickly had two even before breakfast had begun. Their familiar buttery texture and smell are drug like to me. Over the weekend we enjoyed, chocolate cake, sticky date pudding, caramel tarts, lemon tarts, pavlova and a treasure trove of home made delights we all enjoyed. Noah and Papa had their first real taste of Summer at the coast too. The weather at home has been so unseasonably mild and temperate that I was not prepared for the 35 degree days we had. Thankfully there is a wonderful sea breeze and the ocean to enjoy and cool off in. I have to say though that the vision I had in my head of Noah and I at the sea-shore and the reality could not have been more different. In my head we were blissfully floating in the water, chatting and splashing away, the current carrying us to where the open ocean meets the lake and then walking back to the lake only to be carried away again. The reality was far more abrupt. The water was freezing! Absolutely chilly and Noah hated it. We therefore spent our time playing in the sand (another vision in the head that needed reassessing). Noah decided that he would rather eat the sand and I mean EAT IT and from time to time rub it in his eyes than enjoy playing and sitting with his Papa. We therefore had an interesting 30 minutes or so at the beach quickly to return home for a thorough shower and afternoon nap!

It truly was a wonderful three days and I am grateful that Noah has finally met his great grandparents. I am planning another visit early in the new year, January hopefully. By this time (fingers crossed) Noah will be back to his happyily contented sleeping soundly through the night self...this is another post!

A Day of Firsts

We woke this morning as we normally do. Rising just before 7am to Noah babbling to himself in his cot. Daddy didn't start work today until after 10am so we had breakfast together; Noah his morning bottle and weet bix and Daddy & Papa their coffee.

Papa was playing with NoNo on the lounge room floor and then the bite. Papa was letting Noah blow raspberries on his cheeks and suck his chin and nose and ouch! Teeth! Two teeth appeared overnight. The bottom middle two teeth on the bottom gum line. It was so exciting and I hurriedly ran to share this milestone with Daddy. Our boy has teeth! Now, I won't be able to take a photo just yet as they are teeny tiny on the gum line and trying to see them ourselves is a mammoth task so just imagine what it will be like trying to pry open your baby son's mouth long enough to capture that all important shot. For that photo update, watch this space.

We had another first today; Noah's first birthday party. I was so excited to open an email last week and find that at seven months and 24 days Noah had his first birthday invite. We both enjoyed the morning spent at Leo's 2nd birthday and we played party games and pass the parcel. One of Leo's mums made the most beautiful bib for NoNo that was his gift in pass the parcel. It is a little tight around his neck so when an extended is added, I'll blog the photo. It is truly wonderful! So we have had a wonderful Sunday and a great day of firsts. Of course every day with our little wonder has many firsts but these two I though deserved special mention.

Noah's Six & Seven Month Update

This post is long, long, LONG overdue and I apologise. Life has been hectic beyond belief and it just seems to be gaining momentum! Just wait until Noah is crawling and then *gulp* walking, Where is the stop sign PLEASE! Perhaps it's that life seems more hectic than it actually is, simply because Noah has been sick...again. Our poor little man has been coughing and sneezing with a snotty, mucusy nose. Combine this with a lack of sleep and you have yourself an unhappy little chappy. We have had the tiniest of tiny tastings of what a Spring day should be like in the Blue Mountains since the start of September but, Jack Frost and his Winter pals have not wanted to leave us this year. We even had snow in October which is unheard of where we live given that the altitude of our tiny mountain village is only around 750 metres above sea level. I have mentioned in older posts that Darren and I both adore the cold weather, mist, rain and chilly Winter days, but this year we really want some warm weather to 'chase the blues away'....gotta love Ella Fitzgerald right!

The above paragraph has been in 'drafts' for weeks now and I have come to the realisation that even though I may not blog as often I like, what's the point of worrying; que sera sera. I love Doris Day too! The purpose of this blog is two fold really. It is a resource for other intending parents to use when planning their own family through surrogacy overseas and it is for our son. I want Noah to have this blog, our thoughts, feelings and emotions to look over and have when he is older. From India With Love will become a book for he & us to share and read together. A gift from his parents detailing our journey to his birth and the first twelve months of life with his Daddy and Papa. I don't yet know if I will continue blogging after Noah turns 1; what will be will be, right!. The past two months have been as always filled with many great adventures, shared laughter, tears and a few sleepless nights! Noah, Papa, Grandma and Aunty Becky travelled west to the country town of Dubbo. Affectionately known as the Paris of the west in our family. It was for a family wedding that we travelled here and it was officially Noah's first wedding! Je t'aime Duboo! The drive from where we live to Dubbo is just over four hours and Noah slept the entire way. He is the perfect, contented baby (thanks Gina Ford)! We arrived at our destination and the cute cottage we rented for the weekend escape. By the time we unpacked the car and were indoors it was around 11pm. Noah decided to wake up on our arrival and not to sleep in his travel cot. Grandma tried keeping Noah happy while Papa unpacked the mountain and I mean MOUNTAIN of luggage that is now required for a simple two night get away. It was then left to Papa to relax his little one and ensure his safe boarding on the 'sleepy train' for another night. After two hours I gave in and in the end Noah spent the weekend sleeping in the queen size bed with Papa. Other than this minor blemish on an otherwise perfect sleep routine, we had a fun weekend and enjoyed seeing our extended family and had a great night at cousin Em's wedding. She was the perfect blushing bride and looked beautiful! We have also spent time enjoying picnics with friends and their children as the weather finally warms up and Noah just loves being around other kids. He really is fascinated by them and they seem to enjoy being with him too. Tans and Trent who are close friends living nearby to us and their three children Mason, Mischa and Sienna just love being around 'Bubba Noah' and they are all so beautiful and gentle with him. We're just so excited to see them interact and look forward to them growing older and spending more time together. Once a month the Sydney members of the Gay Dads Australia Support group meet for a catch up. Usually it is a picnic or we meet at a park or children's play centre depending on the weather.

Our family have been to one get together since Noah was born and decided this month to return to Sydney for a planned picnic. We have been waiting for Noah to recover from his seemingly never ending cold and the warm weather to join us. Papa, Daddy and Noah hopped in the car, provisions on the ready and headed to Sydney. Turns out that Papa was not as prepared as he first though he was. We arrived at Pyrmont and I had forgotten the address of the meeting point. I also did not have any contact numbers and could access my email from my phone. We did try three separate parks in and around Pyrmont but in the end had our own private picnic just the three of us and enjoyed the afternoon sun relaxing on our blanky playing with our little boy. Noah and daddy have started swimming lessons together and our little one has taken to the water like the proverbial duck. We thought this would be the case as bath time has ended up with Papa on his hands and knees drying not only the floor of the bathroom but the hand basin, walls and toilet which end up covered in water from our son, he just loves it. Swimming lessons are meant to be a weekly occurrence, every Friday morning. A quick trip in the car after Noah's morning sleep and lunch to our local swim centre and a 30 minute lesson or thereabouts. But as you all know, the best laid plans....Having been so sick we have missed a few weeks and can you believe that if you miss more than two you need a DR certificate to make up the classes! Perhaps due to the fact that they are paid for in advance and only operate during the school term. Noah's last lesson for the year will be the 17th December but I know that Daddy and Papa are going to continue taking him to our local pool during summer. We have a beautiful pool located in a wonderful bush setting, with shady trees, it is so peaceful. There is plenty of soft grass to relax on with a summer evening picnic and we can enjoy balmy nights and a refreshing swim! We are still waiting on Noah's first tooth to appear and thought we were there a few weeks ago. There was a tiny white speck on the bottom gum line that had Papa convinced a tooth was moments away and then...gone. Noah will be 8 months old in 12 days time so it can't be too far away. There is an 8 month old girl in Noah's swim group that already has three of her teeth; two on the bottom and one on top and it is utterly adorable! Noah does seem to be drooling more and more every day combined with chomping down on anything put in his mouth and rubbing his gums. I am told, these are the signs a tooth or teeth are not far away! We have had Noah to our local GP a few times these past two months for his six month immunisations, general check ups and also to a paediatric opthomologist. Noah weighs just over 9 kg & you sure can tell when you pick him up! The very top of both of Noah's iris have a tiny crescent moon spec of white which you can see the colour of his iris through. Of course being first time parents and wanting to be safe rather than sorry, we booked an appointment months ago and saw the specialist recently. It turns out to be nothing of concern which is wonderful news. It was explained that the tiny spec of white is hypo-pigmentation and does not have any affect at all on his eyesight. We were at the specialists rooms for close to three hours and the full eye check up was around two hours duration...$200 later, thank you for coming. Noah has been expanding his culinary world this month. As well as enjoying the deliciousness of HEINZ progress formula, STAGE II four times daily, Noah is now enjoying the following home made delights: Stewed Apple, Pear & Blueberry / Pumpkin, Carrot, Zucchini & Quinoa / Pumpkin, Carrot, Zucchini & Sweet Potato / Stewed Apple / Sweet Potato & Avocado. We have recently also introduced KIDS Weet Bix for breakfast mixed with some formula and mashed banana which Noah simply adores and it turns out so does Daddy! Papa has yet to venture down the road of giving it a try as the smell of the formula is enough to discourage me, but it seems not Daddy! Noah is now also enjoying a morning and afternoon snack of some fresh fruit of which our favourites are: Blueberries that have first been peeled and slightly mooshed by Daddy or Papa, Peach pieces (ditto peeling & mooshing) & Mashed Banana. Our little one certainly has developed a palate for veggies and fruit for which we are thankful. We have had to resort to some store bought food now and then as travelling with home made food is not always practical or possible but thankfully there is an abundant choice of organic baby food on the market and the variety is not too shaby either so we make do. We recently returned to Melbourne for four wonderful days catching up with our friends Jarrad, Michael and their truly beautiful son Reid. As always we had an amazing time & only wished our visit had been longer. We rented a private apartment decorated in the French Provincial style which was perfect for us Francophiles. Anyone who has been to our mountain home will attest to the fact that we are BIG lovers of French style. Complete with kitchen and laundry facilities it was simply...divine and a perfect pied a terre on the outskirts of Melbourne CDB for the three of us. We enjoyed a lovely day trip to Daylesford with the boys enjoying lunch, coffee and the array of gift shops in this picturesque town. The remainder of our time was spent enjoying great company, meeting new friends and the delights of delicious food and superb wine. Not to forget the deluxe edition of scrabble. My newest favourite board game. We always love visiting Melbourne and our dear, dear friends and eagerly await the next time we're together again. Did I mention to you however our pram was misplaced by a certain domestic airline? We arrived into Melbourne Tullamarine nice and early so as to avoid afternoon peak hour. Jarrad had agreed to meet us at the airport and we disembarked ready for our four days of relaxation. Baggage carousel number two had our luggage ready and waiting. We then head on over to the oversize baggage counter and wait. Noah happily chatting to himself and Daddy & Papa commenting how quick we always seem to get our luggage when we fly. This dear reader was our fatal mistake, the Achilles heel of this trip. Wait until you have all your luggage before praising your chosen airline you have just flown with. Other guests prams, surf boards, baby seats, appliances and God knows what else they had packaged into boxes, eskys and the like were being dropped off at a cracking pace. But not our pram. Ever the optimist, I was convinced it would be next to arrive. Now, when we departed Sydney airport we checked our one and only pram at the gate and this is where we made our first fatal mistake which destined our pram to the abyss of missing luggage. Darren laughed out loud to himself that wouldn't it be funny if we arrived and there was no pram. Funny? One is not amused! Having handed over our boarding pass' we are assured by the staff checking our flight that all would be OK and our pram would be in Melbourne with us when we arrived. We then board the aircraft and are now blissfully unaware of what drama lay ahead of us and the fate of Noah's Princely Carriage! Back to Melbourne and forty minutes or so later and still no pram. The next flight arriving had begun to have their luggage pass by on carousel number two, it was then we raised our concern with the airlines dedicated ground staff and discovered that yes, the airline had lost our pram. In fact there was no record of the pram even leaving Sydney or the whereabouts of it's current location. Even a phone call to the gate and staff there failed to reveal an answer. Our pram went awol. Not happy would be an understatement! I completed the mandatory lost item form, gave my contact number to the airline staff member and hoped for the best. We had been waiting for the pram for over an hour. We then readied ourselves for peak hour traffic into the city! That night we enjoyed a wonderful BBQ and an unseasonably warm Melbourne night for the time of year and our pram woes seemed to be a distant memory. It wasn't until after a few glasses of deliciously sweet bubbles I realised I had missed a call from the airline. I phoned back but of course no answer after hours. We did eventually get our pram back. The same night we arrived in fact, around 11.30pm. We do not know the details of the sordid adventure it had but we are glad she returned to us.

Noah's Five Month Update

Five months, actually more than five months have now passed. Our son is five months and two weeks old tomorrow, the 22nd September. Each day with Noah brings new joy to our lives. Joy as any parent will tell you unlike any other. Most days I find myself walking into Noah's room to simply stare at him. I stand at the side of his cot quietly watching his chest move up and down as it fills with oxygen and then as he exhales how his little face, cheeks, and nose move. His face twitches & squirms usually as a result of me rubbing my nose against his cheek or stealing one more kiss for the day. I have discovered that there is never enough kisses shared in any one day. I find myself holding his tiny hands, thanking God we have a healthy, happy baby boy. There is so much that is wrong and sad in this world today but for that moment when I am standing next to Noah, nothing else matters. It is bliss.

We have seen the arrival of Spring this month and for the first time, Darren and I are welcoming her with open arms. We both adore the cold weather, Winter especially. The colder the better. This year has been the exception. We have had a cold Winter and what seems to have been a very long Winter. This coupled with the fact that Noah has been sick, meant that we were eagerly awaiting warmer weather. As mentioned in earlier posts, Noah had croup not long after we returned from India and Winter set in. It was simply awful and the cough was only one aspect of the illness. The past five to six weeks has seen us visit our local GP three times due to a consistent cough, awful wheeze and the most yuckiest of runny noses and subsequent mucus, apologies! This infection did not want to leave and we were both so worried, feeling there was nothing we could do.

Noah has been wheezy off and on since his immunisations at four months of age but the cough came a little later, then followed by the yucky nose. It was so terrible and there was just nothing we could do to offer relief to him other than a steam vaporizer in his bedroom and lots and lots of love. On our second visit to our GP Noah was diagnosed with bronchiolitis. This now seems to have passed and our boy is 99% back to his normal self. It is so good to wake up in the morning and have a child free from coughing, sneezing and being terribly congested. For this and other reasons, Spring we welcome thee! This month Noah enjoyed his first ferry ride on Sydney Harbour. Typically every August we celebrate the birthdays of Darren, his brother Brett and sister Tracie with a family get together. This year we were a little late and made it in September. We agreed to meet at the Ivanhoe Pub in Manly for a family lunch and we were joined by our nieces Hollie, Hannah & Brooke and nephew Chad. Aunty Rob and Uncle Charlie from the NSW north coast also joined us. The weather on the day was drab and grey, yet we still had a wonderful time & our boy was so happy and well behaved the entire day. There was so much excitement and people to meet that sleeping and any resemblance of a routine went out the window for the day. This did not matter though and Nono was still his happy self and not one bit grumpy! This month has also seen a wonderful milestone for Noah and his daddies; solid food. We decided at just after five months of age, having shown growing interest in our meals and drinks that we would start Noah on some solid food. So, we readied the video and still cameras, set the high chair up in the lounge room and defrosted some home made organic pumpkin puree made by Papa. And, it was a smashing success. 50grams of pumpkin goodness was eagerly eaten and then a bottle of formula to boot. Needless to say we had a wonderful first experience of solid food and Noah has been enjoying a wide range of home made deliciousness these past two weeks. Those infant taste buds have been enjoying a wide selection of gourmet fare including; organic pumpkin puree, organic apple puree, pumpkin and corn puree and organic sweet potato puree. I just love spending time in the kitchen at the best of times and especially love knowing that I am cooking home made, prepared meals for our little man. I can't wait to try some new flavours and textures and see just what he likes the most. At the moment it seems to be the sweet potato. Both daddy and papa are adventurous with their food & we're sure that Noah will be just the same. I also have to share something that keeps happening more and more often over the past couple of weeks and I wonder if this is a trend with other new parents? Our wonderful surrogate is always in our hearts and the front of our minds. We often chat about her, her children and extended family and hope they are well. We hope she is happy with the choice she made to have a child for us & wonder if she would do the same again? The more we spend time with parents of multi-child families the more we think of a sibling for Noah. For us however it's not as easy and straight forward as it is for others out there. We're not wired to reproduce and the plumbing is all wrong to boot. Do parents of children conceived the ole' fashioned way think of siblings so soon? Is this normal? Are we selfish? Are we crazy?!? Shouldn't one healthy child be enough for any family? Having a child is such an emotional and life changing experience that neither of us were prepared for. Yes we anticipated just what life would be like when Noah came into our world. Yes we anticipated that life would be amazing, stupendous, tiring and all the more richer having him here with us and it is. However, we were not prepared for how we would feel once we knew he is an only child. There are plenty of single children in the world and there does not seem to be any detriment to their development, life skills, happiness or how they feel about their life. So why question this, are we being selfish I ask again? Why does a sibling keep coming into my mind and then out of it again? Our pregnancy with Noah was text book perfect. Not a single hitch. Are we tempting fate by thinking of trying for a brother or sister for Noah?

The chances of a positive pregnancy are lessened with a frozen embryo transfer or 'FET'. Then there is the nine months. In fact more than the nine months; the two week wait, waiting for beta numbers, waiting for the all important heart beat, first trimester, second trimester, third trimester and normal birth. Nothing is certain until your healthy child is born and even then...Both Darren and I felt such a connection with our surrogate that I don't know if it would feel right trying again with another woman. Is this selfish? Is this normal? Again, what is normal? My mind is awash with the thought of possibilities and what could be's. There is also the reality that commercial surrogacy is not as simple as simply saying yes, let's do this. One has to be financially able to cope with the unknown. What if there are complications during your surrogate's pregnancy etc. And then having a child is but one aspect of life's story. There is so much we as a family have yet to experience together. We want to provide the best possible life for Noah. Will a second child bring more financial stain that we can deal with? I suppose it is a feeling of melancholy that has me asking these questions of myself. We have had a month away from blogger and the online surrogacy world. Checking in on new intended parents, their stories and blogs again has re-kindled the feelings of anticipation, hope, joy and love of knowing that there is a new life about to be born and that life is that of your child.

Noah's Four Month Update

As each day draws to a close surely as the setting sun, our little man is growing, developing and enriching our lives. Noah is fast becoming a baby boy with a wonderfully gentle, loving and warm personality. Our son is now four months and 16 days old. He has truly perfected his sleeping routine and again we sing praises to the 'Contented Baby' routine by Gina Ford. To the non believers of having your newborn in a sound routine, it can and is being done, not only by us but parents everywhere. I was amazed when I attended parents groups and there were children older than Noah who were still waking in the night and then others who had wished they had tried a routine but thought it was not possible. We have been following the routine as recommended by Gina Ford since Noah was born in April.


We did not feed on demand as recommended by the nurses at Hiranandani Hospital. Rather, we chose to feed as outlined in the 'Contended Baby' and the results speak or I should say sleep for themselves. Noah has been sleeping through the night from 7pm to 7am since he was three and a half months old and nothing has changed. He is perfection at bed time and, as the clock approaches 7pm, his beautiful little eyes start to become heavy and in a matter of moments he boards the sleep train bound for sleepy land, as we say in our home. This routine has been important for us knowing that both of us would be returning to work so soon after Noah was born. Darren returned to work just after Noah was one month old and Johnny has just returned to work too. We needed to know that our son was going to be happy, healthy and in a strong routine and, he is.


The past month has been one of major development for Noah. He is no longer newborn and this is very obvious to us when we compare him to other young babys; cousin Reid who is seven weeks old and cousin Alexander who is four weeks old. No No (Noddy) is growing up.

Our son can now hold his head up high on his own and is no longer a rag doll when sitting upright. He really enjoys tummy time but not for too long Papa! Noah is laughing out load every day and especially loves it when Daddy wakes him up with his morning wake up song; Good Morning! Nothing compares to the joy we feel when we walk into Noah's room of a morning, opening the blinds and there is our little star looking up at us smiling, giggling and waiting for us to pick him up for his first cuddle and kiss of the day. He is so happy to see his Daddy and Papa and the squeals of delight are simply divine! Noah really enjoys Fisher Price's "Little People" too. We have a couple of Baby Einstein DVDs and the Little People Discoveries DVD which runs for fifteen minutes. We usually find this being played at around 10:30am just before a mid morning bottle. The five 'Little People', Michael, Maggie, Sonya-Lee, Sara-Lyn and Eddie enjoy a number of adventures together such as helping Farmer Jed with his corn field, helping a little car stuck in a tree, playing with the animals at the zoo and helping each other. The DVD is not long and Noah just loves sitting on the sofa watching while Papa and Daddy run around the house trying to get a few chores done.


Noah has also had his second immunisation booster this month: diptheria, tetanus, pertussis, polio, Hep. B, rotavirus, pneumococcal and hib. When we went for the two month check up and immunisations he was such a trooper, but this time round he was less eager to accept what was being offered by the community nurse. Perhaps it's because Noah is growing and becoming more aware or maybe he was simply having a bad day. Regardless he did not take the oral vaccine easily and one of the two needles he was given really, really upset him. He took longer to calm and settle this time round but at least we know he is protected from illness that can be prevented. Immunisations are a topic of discussion amongst new parents and we know that some people are against vaccinating and other would not have it any other way.

A large section of the community where we live in the Blue Mountains of New South Wales like to live a simple, hassle free and alternate lifestyle. I suppose you could say the city of the Blue Mountains welcomes with open arms the inner hippy in all of us. And sometimes, with this chosen way of life many people like to live as naturally as possible and this sometimes means not having your children immunised. To each his own, we live in a wonderfully accepting society (could be more so) and if you don't want to do something, you have the choice not to do it. For our family however, Johnny in particular immunisations are something that was non negotiable. When I was in high school, a young boy in year 10, his third year of junior high, came to school one day with a cane. The kind of cane you see vision impaired people using to assit in walking. I though nothing of this at the time, consumed by my own world and that of my friends.

Later that same year I left this school for a twelve month student exchange program to live in Japan. When I returned to Australia in 1997 I discovered from my younger sister that the boy who had brought the cane to school had in fact contracted the measles. This boy gradually lost his eye sight, went completely blind and was then bed ridden before he passed away.




This young boy aged fifteen years old had died from the measles.



I remember Becky telling me that the school community at the time was in total shock at his passing and nurses in our local hospital required counselling after he died. I still often think of this boy and his family. I can not imagine the pain and anguish that his parents and brother must have endured knowing that he was about the lose his life because of the measles, a preventable disease. This is why I always felt that if we had children there would be no question in having him or her vaccinated. And, on to the next topic of debate, politics!

Isn't this meant to be a blog about family, our son and our experience in India and not a social soapbox?


I won't venture too far down the political brick road other than to say that Australia has just had a federal election over the past weekend and we are still awaiting the results to hear who our new Prime Minister will be. Neither of the two major political parties won my a clear majority. and both now need to try and coerce the independent and green parties to form an alliance with them to have a clear majority of power in the senate or it's back to the polling booths for us all. One of the hopes Darren and I have coming into this election is that the government will recognise our family as equal to that of our straight counterparts and even (gasp) allow us to publicly declare our love for one another and have this recognised as valid and equal too. You know what people; doing this will not result in the world as you know it crumbling and falling apart! The sun will still rise in the East and set in the West. Autumn will still follow Summer and Spring will still follow Winter. There is still hope and change will come. But change, major change always seems to take a snails pace to happen don't you think?

This past month Noah and Papa went to their first local school's open day and I'm sure this will be the first of many as we decide where is best to nurture our little boy and provide the best opportunity for him to grow and develop both emotionally and academically. So far so good and we will go again next year to look at the school's facilities, chat with staff and students. If we decide this is where we want Noah to be educated, we will pay the enrollment fee, sign the paperwork and place him on the waiting list for kindergarten in 2010. YIKES!



We have had some wonderful day trips, outings and visits from family and friends over the past four to five weeks too. Daddy, Papa and Noah started off with a very full day exploring Sydney and some of her outer suburbs. We started our day with a spot of shopping trying to find some cute outfits for No No. We then enjoyed a delicious seafood lunch at Nicks on world famous Bondi Beach and spent our afternoon enjoying coffee and a spot more shopping in the cute village of Woollahra in Sydney's Eastern suburbs. We decided to finish the day with dinner at a yummy Mexican restaurant in Glebe, in Sydney's inner west. A total of ten plus hours out with our little man and Noah was perfect! He woke, ate and slept when he was meant to and enjoyed a great outing with his dads.


We also took a day trip west of the Blue Mountains to the small town of Oberon, famous for wild mushrooms in Autumn and truffles in Winter. This is where Uncle Brett lives. We also had a visit from friends Fara and Matt this month, with the wonderfully exciting news they are expecting twins which was a surprise and a half! We knew they had been trying IVF and did not know they were successful until we saw them this month. Cathing up with this pair is akin to walking into the FRRO in Mumbai, swanning around without all your required paperwork and then leaving with your child's exit visa in hand within the hour...next to impossible. We have been trying to catch up for lunch since our return from Mumbai in April and finally managed to do so in July. The expectant parents managed to keep their pregnancy a secret and when they arrived we were met with a five month pregnant belly! We are so excited for them and know they will be great parents.

Aunty Nadyne, Uncle Murray and Cousins Emerson and Makayla also visited us from Newcastle in July. This was the second time we had caught up with Johnny's sister, brother in law and children since we returned from India. And it was a great opportunity to relax at home and enjoy some time visiting wonderful cafes and shops which are abundant in the Blue Mountains. We always have a fantastic time when we meet up and sharing the joy of parenthood with them adds another dimension to our relationship.We also enjoyed a wonderful weekend with dear friends, Jarrad, Michael and their newborn son Reid, born in India in June of this year. We had a beautiful weekend exploring some of the surrounding areas in the Mountains and again, enjoyed delicious food and beautiful wine but most importantly shared great times with remarklably wonderful friends. These boys and their son mean so much to our family and we are delighted to have continued our friendship since the birth of our children. In them we have friends for life.

Noah's Three Month Update

Where have the past 90 days gone? Well in fact 95 days! We have had our son in our lives for almost 100 days! What an amazing 95 days they have been too, unlike any other we have experienced before. And, just as wonderful as we had dreamt they would be! Prior to your child's birth, people tell you that the love you feel as a parent is unlike anything else you could possibly imagine. You love them unconditionally from the moment you set eyes on them. We all know how this story goes right? But, experiencing this love, this change in oneself is amazing. One can not put into words how this truly makes you feel. How is such a thing possible and what if it doesn't happen to me? You often hear pregnant woman speaking of this. Having a child grow inside of you for nine months, giving birth and feeding your child creates a bond for life. But, how do dads create this bond & does this same bond happen when our surrogates give birth to our children? Does it exist for them? One would imagine it does, right, but maybe resigning themselves to the fact they have fallen pregnant to help another person become a parent, a joy they already know for themselves first hand is how they cope with these emotions. For dads the world over, we are not able to carry a life inside us so we bond by talking with our unborn child and caressing our partner's pregnant belly. Great if your partner lives with you and you happen to be heterosexual, but again, what about Darren and I and other intended parents the world over who don't have that pregnant belly there with us? Many IPs we have spoken with talk about a fear of not bonding with their child when first born and I think this is normal. You are so detached from the daily realities of being pregnant that it's no wonder we have to sometimes pinch ourselves and reaffirm that YES, WE ARE PREGNANT! Many of us are not even in the same country as our unborn child for the majority of their pregnancy. Some are lucky to travel midway through the nine months and be there for ultrasounds etc bu the majority are not. We are relying on another human being to take care of our unborn child for us at a time in our lives when it is not yet possible for us to do so. We are kept in touch with 'our' pregnancy via email, skype and ultrasound photos via email. Fo Darren and I, our surrogate remains our angel and we know this is the case for most of us who have travelled down the path of commercial surrogacy. Without these woman willing to bear a child for us, our children would not be with us today, bringing unimaginable joy to our lives. Our surrogate is an amazing woman who has made being parents possible for us. This is the most wonderful time of our lives and something we previously only ever dreamed of. But this is not a dream, this is real. The bond we have with Noah was a natural, instant emotion we had the minute we knew he had entered this earth. We were not yet in the same country as him, yet to meet our son yet it was there for us. In Singapore, waiting for our flight to Mumbai we received the news we had been waiting to hear for what seemed like a lifetime....your baby has been born, congratulations! The first photo we received of Noah was of Dr Yash holding him minutes after he was born. Darren and I were amazed that this little life, our son was real and waiting for us in Mumbai. Waiting for his dads to arrive before he even knew we existed, before he had met us or knew how much we already loved him. More than anything in the world. This emotional roller coaster plays out I'm certain in 'normal' pregnancies too. There are mothers too who fear they will not bond with their newborn child when born. I guess this worry it heightened for those of us who have to go to such lengths as we do to bring a baby into our lives. Even more so to those of us unable to fall pregnant on the first, second, third, fourth, fifth and sometimes even sixth or seventh attempt. Our resolve at not losing focus on becoming parents amazes me. I have such admiration for these people and pray for their happy ending. I repeat, we both repeat to ourselves time and time again just how lucky we were to have success on our first attempt and to have a smooth text book pregnancy. Others have not been so lucky and it is heart breaking. The past three months have seen Noah, Daddy and Papa create some wonderful memories together and I thought I would share some of them with you now. So.....drumroll please. In no particular order, the first three months of life for Noah Robert have seen him enjoy the following adventures. Rushing about Bombay in an auto rickshaw less than a week old. Dining out with friends from the USA at three days of age. Of course taking his first international flight from India to Sydney and having his first complimentary upgrade at 17 days of age....thanks British Airways! Flying to Melbourne to meet his two wonderful uncles who have recently become dads themselves! YAY! Shopping with Daddy & Papa for his first pair of shoes. Enjoying yum-cha in Sydney with Papa and his friend Mel. And last but by no means least, sharing an in calculable amount of laughs, hugs and kisses with his two loving parents. We love and adore you so much our darling son. I pray we can live up to our expectations at being the best dads you could ever hope for.

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To Our Darling Son Noah:

You were our dream of love, hope and joy. Then you were born to us, a perfect, darling baby boy.
Months spent praying for a safe arrival. Nights and days of tears and fears.
Now you are home with us, your parents for life. We're here for you, all of your years.
May life be kind, generous and always glad. You can always rely on us, your two loving dads.