Christmas Celebration & Eight Month Update

Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas. Let your heart be light... Don't you just love that song, I do! Recently, whilst googling this particular Christmas song, I learnt that the original lyric was actually 'Have yourself a Merry Little Christmas, it may be your last. Next year we all may be living in the past'. I recently watched Meet me in St Louis for the first time this year while visiting my grandparents, a movie I had wanted to see for years now. Judy Garland made this song famous in a Hollywood classic, however the original version was considered too morbid and was later changed to the now popular song we all know and love. Our first Christmas with our darling son was everything that we could have imagined it to be and more. This time last year we were praying that our dear surrogate Sarika would be safe, healthy and happy and were blessed with the knowledge that in only four short months, our baby would be born and we would at last be parents. The reality of this dream is somewhat overwhelming and yes, we are still amazed at the gift God has given us. We of course started the Christmas season with decorating the house and our Christmas trees as we do each and every year since we met fourteen years ago. We have yet to venture outdoors with the exception of a garland here and there and bows on the garden lamp posts. This is most likely a blessing as it already takes us long enough to decorate the inside of the house so I can't begin to imagine how much longer outside would take too. Usually we start on the first Sunday in November but this year we were a month behind. I know that many people think this is too early, but we both just love this time of year and I am not the only one in my family to have chronic Christmas-itis. We were both so excited to have Noah's first santa photo taken and we ventured into one of Sydney's major department stores, David Jones to have this done.
The window displays are beautiful and the store is decorated and early in the morning leading up to Christmas there are carolers too. Noah just adored Santa, let's see if we can have a repeat next year and years following this as he grows and becomes more aware of this strange man in a red suit. The above photo was the first one taken by the photographer and NoNo was so happy that he almost pulled Santa's beard off. Being one of Santa's helpers as we all know, his beard wasn't real of course. Only Santa himself has such a long beard and he needs this so he stays nice and warm in the North Pole. Ninna, Daddy and Pappa enjoyed Christmas carols in the Blue Mountains this year. We spent the early evening singing underneath the largest English oak tree in Eastern Australia. We also met with other same sex families in the Blue Mountains for a Christmas dinner and catch up at a restaurant close to home.
We are the only male parents in a large group of mainly lesbian parented families. The Blue Mountains Rainbow Family Group is a division of Rainbow Families Australia and it is great to catch up with other families living nearby. We were lucky enough to have another visit from one of Santa's helpers during dinner too, aren't we a lucky bunch! This year, Daddy and Papa wrote Noah's letter to Santa for him since he is still a small baby. We excitedly woke on Christmas morning and followed our normal routine of morning bottle and some cereal before Noah went back to bed for a morning sleep. Ninna's partner, Poppy Michael came for Christmas breakfast as he does every year although for the first time ever we were very much behind schedule; understandably so with our little one demanding our attention! Still, we enjoyed a champagne breakfast and opened some presents before Noah went back to bed for his lunch time nap. I think the day was somewhat overwhelming for Noah, he was so excited and just loved the gifts that Santa, Ninna, Daddy & Papa gave him. WE definitely need to find out if Fisher Price is a publicly listed company and if so, get to buying some shares! Daddy and Papa decided that we wouldn't spoil our little boy (excessively) as he is still a baby and has everything that he needs in the world and has not yet been tainted by modern day consumerism! We did however still buy some toys; a FP talking/learning puppy, a tambourine, another FP walking trolley with blocks & Dr Seuss boxed set of books & some new clothes. We knew that family members would be very generous to the newest addition of our household, and they were. Ninna bought Noah a beautiful limited edition Disney Christmas tree that plays carols and the small characters spin around the tree, some books, new shoes and clothes and a keepsake Christmas ornament for the tree. Poppy Michael bought NoNo a beautiful Blinky Bill book. Grandma & Poppy went totally OTT and bought books, books and more books, toys a plenty; including many made by you know who, Wiggles DVDs, clothes, and a new beach towel. Aunty Becky & Uncle Stephen bought NoNo a FP 'Little People' train and an Elmo doll dressed as a chicken that does..the chicken dance. Noah is still not 100% certain of this one! Aunty Trella and Uncle Patrick bought Noah a wonderful alphabet floor rug that is in his bedroom, books, books and more books, a xylophone and hooded towel too. Have I mentioned that we love reading to our son? Noah enjoys story time too and it is wonderful spending time with him reading and watching the expressions on his face. I pray that the love of books and reading stay with him for life. Uncle Brett bought Noah a Christmas teddy bear and a FP musical bird bath that sings from one to ten and your ABCs too. Darren's niece Hollie and her partner Dan bought us the most beautiful Swarvoski crystal baby carriage and rocking horse for Noah's room. They are simply stunning and will be especially treasures as our son grows up. We also had fun opening presents from Aunty Tans and Uncle Trent; a Royal Doulton Bunnykins figurine, bath time toys and PJs. Aunty Ed gave NoNo a teddy bear too. Uncles Michael, Jarrad and cousin Reid sent us a beautiful tin plane that we just love, a book (The Night Before Christmas) and Nanna Lyn from Tasmania sent a small children's bible. Aunty Rhonda & Uncle Mark from Port Macquarie sent a beautiful set of outfits. Aunty Tanya & Uncle Chris from the Paris of the West (see earlier blog entries for clarification) sent a beautiful boxed set of Little Golden Books (the Christmas stories). One of Daddy's work colleagues sent an enormous Mickey Mouse toy which we added to the now mountainous collection of stuffed toys in Noah's bedroom (note to self, no more stuffed animals)! Neighbours Carol & Mark gave Noah an embroidered legionnaire hat with a penguin and his name. To say our son is loved and was spoilt would be the understatement of 2010. I a sure that I have missed gifts and the kind people who gave them to us. There is just strong>SO MANY GIFTS! It is amazing to witness the mass of toys and books one little boys has in such a short period of time. We are truly blessed beyond imagination and still wonder at the bountiful life we enjoy here in Australia. It does make me sad to think of those less fortunate, especially at this time of year Children who are not as lucky as Noah and will go without. We did have the obligatory 'tears before bedtime'. Noah was playing on the floor of the conservatory with a mountain of gifts around him and fell, hitting his chin on a box and cut himself. Not too badly, but bad enough for a bit of blood and plenty of tears. All was good again however with a big cuddle from Daddy & Papa. We enjoyed Christmas lunch at Johnny's parents house who live nearby. Aunty Becky & Uncle Stephen along with Aunty Mags and Uncle Charlie came to the Mountains for the day and enjoy our first Christmas with NoNo. We had a sumptuous feast prepared by Grandma, Papa & Aunty Becky including the yummiest turkey and stuffing, glazed ham, prawns and oysters, salads and desserts just to make sure we were well and truly full! The weather was simply perfect, we had such a beautiful day. The sun was shining and there was a slight breeze, lucky considering that it has been four seasons in one day these past weeks. For December, the weather has been all over the place; a blazing hot day and the A/C is turned on, Noah sleeping in a singlet and nappy and then, the next day it's freezing and the heaters are on again to keep us warm. No wonder NoNo has had summer sniffles and coughing off and on for days...again! After our beautiful Christmas Day lunch, Daddy, Papa, Noah and Ninna headed down the Mountain to Aunty Trella and Uncle Patrick's house for Christmas dinner. We enjoyed an equally delicious dinner albeit somewhat lighter than lunch with family; Atlantic salmon with asparagus spears, balsamic glazed cherry tomato and lemon butter sauce, roasted chicken, salads and a Christmas punch with punch! We had a lovely Christmas day with our son and returned home just before midnight. Noah was so tired and managed to sleep for a few hours before we returned home but still, the day was long and he sure did make up for lost sleep over the coming days. Apart from the excitement of Christmas day, other news of interest is that our son is now officially crawling! No longer content with the strange bottom shuffle or a backwards crawl, we now have forward thrusters activated! It was so exciting to see and we are now actively mobile. Noah is also holding his weight very comfortably on both legs and can support himself unaided by either Daddy or Papa when holding onto the furniture.

The other thing Noddy enjoys is jumping and I mean JUMPING. All the time, be it on the floor, bed, lounge or Papa's lap and I have the bruises on my legs to prove it people. Noah is so very active and loves to move. We are definitely going to have to enrol this boy in some kind of active sport. Tomorrow is New Years Eve and we have a quiet night planned with friends we often catch up with. Noah will be spending the night at Grandma and Poppy's house after months of pleading from Grandma, her wish is granted. We want to end 2010 by wishing everyone 'out there' the very best and pray for healthy pregnancies if you are pregnant, positive results if you're trying to conceive and blessings beyond compare for 2011.

Noah's Three Month Update

Where have the past 90 days gone? Well in fact 95 days! We have had our son in our lives for almost 100 days! What an amazing 95 days they have been too, unlike any other we have experienced before. And, just as wonderful as we had dreamt they would be! Prior to your child's birth, people tell you that the love you feel as a parent is unlike anything else you could possibly imagine. You love them unconditionally from the moment you set eyes on them. We all know how this story goes right? But, experiencing this love, this change in oneself is amazing. One can not put into words how this truly makes you feel. How is such a thing possible and what if it doesn't happen to me? You often hear pregnant woman speaking of this. Having a child grow inside of you for nine months, giving birth and feeding your child creates a bond for life. But, how do dads create this bond & does this same bond happen when our surrogates give birth to our children? Does it exist for them? One would imagine it does, right, but maybe resigning themselves to the fact they have fallen pregnant to help another person become a parent, a joy they already know for themselves first hand is how they cope with these emotions. For dads the world over, we are not able to carry a life inside us so we bond by talking with our unborn child and caressing our partner's pregnant belly. Great if your partner lives with you and you happen to be heterosexual, but again, what about Darren and I and other intended parents the world over who don't have that pregnant belly there with us? Many IPs we have spoken with talk about a fear of not bonding with their child when first born and I think this is normal. You are so detached from the daily realities of being pregnant that it's no wonder we have to sometimes pinch ourselves and reaffirm that YES, WE ARE PREGNANT! Many of us are not even in the same country as our unborn child for the majority of their pregnancy. Some are lucky to travel midway through the nine months and be there for ultrasounds etc bu the majority are not. We are relying on another human being to take care of our unborn child for us at a time in our lives when it is not yet possible for us to do so. We are kept in touch with 'our' pregnancy via email, skype and ultrasound photos via email. Fo Darren and I, our surrogate remains our angel and we know this is the case for most of us who have travelled down the path of commercial surrogacy. Without these woman willing to bear a child for us, our children would not be with us today, bringing unimaginable joy to our lives. Our surrogate is an amazing woman who has made being parents possible for us. This is the most wonderful time of our lives and something we previously only ever dreamed of. But this is not a dream, this is real. The bond we have with Noah was a natural, instant emotion we had the minute we knew he had entered this earth. We were not yet in the same country as him, yet to meet our son yet it was there for us. In Singapore, waiting for our flight to Mumbai we received the news we had been waiting to hear for what seemed like a lifetime....your baby has been born, congratulations! The first photo we received of Noah was of Dr Yash holding him minutes after he was born. Darren and I were amazed that this little life, our son was real and waiting for us in Mumbai. Waiting for his dads to arrive before he even knew we existed, before he had met us or knew how much we already loved him. More than anything in the world. This emotional roller coaster plays out I'm certain in 'normal' pregnancies too. There are mothers too who fear they will not bond with their newborn child when born. I guess this worry it heightened for those of us who have to go to such lengths as we do to bring a baby into our lives. Even more so to those of us unable to fall pregnant on the first, second, third, fourth, fifth and sometimes even sixth or seventh attempt. Our resolve at not losing focus on becoming parents amazes me. I have such admiration for these people and pray for their happy ending. I repeat, we both repeat to ourselves time and time again just how lucky we were to have success on our first attempt and to have a smooth text book pregnancy. Others have not been so lucky and it is heart breaking. The past three months have seen Noah, Daddy and Papa create some wonderful memories together and I thought I would share some of them with you now. So.....drumroll please. In no particular order, the first three months of life for Noah Robert have seen him enjoy the following adventures. Rushing about Bombay in an auto rickshaw less than a week old. Dining out with friends from the USA at three days of age. Of course taking his first international flight from India to Sydney and having his first complimentary upgrade at 17 days of age....thanks British Airways! Flying to Melbourne to meet his two wonderful uncles who have recently become dads themselves! YAY! Shopping with Daddy & Papa for his first pair of shoes. Enjoying yum-cha in Sydney with Papa and his friend Mel. And last but by no means least, sharing an in calculable amount of laughs, hugs and kisses with his two loving parents. We love and adore you so much our darling son. I pray we can live up to our expectations at being the best dads you could ever hope for.

***********************************************************************

To Our Darling Son Noah:

You were our dream of love, hope and joy. Then you were born to us, a perfect, darling baby boy.
Months spent praying for a safe arrival. Nights and days of tears and fears.
Now you are home with us, your parents for life. We're here for you, all of your years.
May life be kind, generous and always glad. You can always rely on us, your two loving dads.

Week 19 Update & Latest Ultrasound Results

Can you believe that we are now days from reaching the half way point of our pregnancy! One of the major mental milestones to be passed one would say.

We are so blessed to have by our side, our family, friends and a great community of online supporters following our journey. We sincerely thank you all for your kindness and kind words.

Our surrogate is doing very well from our last conversation with Dr Sudhir and we are very excited for the next day she will be back at SI's clinic so we can SKYPE with her again. I (Johnny) am still amazed that this is really happening to us. I am still scared to give myself over completely to the idea that I am going to be a parent in less than 6 months time. Our wonderful surrogate is being so well taken care of and is in the best of health, this pregnancy has thus fare been uneventful; which is just what we want.

I posted a while back that just because we want to be daddies does not mean it will happen. I won't be completely satisfied (and relieved) until Noddy is in our arms. I am so very fearful of this wonderful gift being snatched from Darren and I before we even realise it.

I am sure these emotions are normal though, right?

Our most recent ultrasound results from India are very impressive with all kinds of information for the medico lamen to ponder - yay for Dr Google.

A quick overview reads: A single live fetus is seen in unstable lie. Liqor volume is adequate. Placenta is situated at the fundus and extends along the anterior wall. It shows grade I maturity. No praevia is seen. Cervical Os and canal are closed. Cervix measures 3.3cm. Normal fetal cardiac activity and fetal biophysical profile is seen. No obvious anatomical anomalies are seen.

All in all a good report card wouldn't you agree? Our revised due date is now the 19th April 2010.

WEEK 19

Fetal size 13-15cm (5.2-6 inches). Fetal weight 200g (7 ounces). This week your baby continues to develop and grow.

Celebration Photos & Week 15 Update

We just LOVE Sykpe! This week we were fortunate enough to catch our surrogate in SI's office again after some appointments and had the chance to see her beautiful face again! She is looking so well and had the most amazing glow in her face, she truly did!

Gopa also sent us some great photos of our surrogate opening her diwali gifts and she looked so happy. Dr Sudhir said that she was very grateful and happy with what we had sent her. We are so glad and are looking forward to sending a hamper full of Aussie goodies for Christmas time. We saw so many friendly faces at the SI office it made us both so melancholy to return to India now. Our surrogate was asking us when we were coming back to see her and we would love to be there now but financial and work constraints mean it's not likely I'm afraid...If anyone out there has some Qantas frequent flyer points they want to donate to us please feel free to do so!

We are coming into our 15th week of pregnancy which means only another five weeks until we hit the half way mark!!!!! Oh my, this is fact approaching and we have still so much to do. We are going to start our nursery preparations in the new year and we'll post photos of the before and after shots for your enjoyment.

We have a green check wallpaper in our study (that is to become Noddy's room) that needs to be removed, walls repainted, panelling installed, furniture painted and the list goes on. Luckily we have some handy family members who have agreed to help us as we are not that handy. Sure, we can put colours together and select some wonderful co-ordinating fabrics but, handy we aint!

Below is the 14 and a half'ish week baby belly care of wonderful Gopa at SI!

WEEK 15

This week your baby is around 93-104mm (3.4-4.1 inches) in length and weighs approximately 50 grams (1.75 ounces).

The fetus continues to grow rapidly and is starting to look more and more like a baby. The external ears and eyes are well developed and lanugo (a fine, downy hair) covers the body. As the neck further extends and the chin becomes prominent, the head becomes well defined. Your baby may now start to suck it's thumb.